Sunday always reveals to me what it is that I need to improve in my life. After attending church service today, I just realized that of all the things in the world, I have perhaps not been in line with one of the original commandments. I will not go into much detail but it is clearly which one of them, and it is quite easy and common, it is. I have fallen short of being a person who only tells the truth.
I have known for quite some time that I suffer from a condition in which I create these amazing myriad webs of half truths, half lies, mistruths, tall tales, fables, and stories. It is the main aspect in life that has kept me running full speed ahead. I did not realize how much work it took to maintain this web until recently when events finally began to calm down and I had a chance to reflect over the semester.
Whenever someone desires for me to do something that requires some sacrifice, such as time, or will require some detail or small convenience, such as walking or attending an event, I sit and think up whatever story comes into mind. The excuse usually always works because it dwells on the fact that to deny me my right of doing this, would make that person look like they were the bad guy. For example, one of the most common ones used this semester is that Sunday is not a good day for me to do anything because Sunday is when I do all of my homework and go to several study groups. The truth is, is that Sunday is the day that I like to rest and relax and I feel lazy and so because of my laziness I decide not to go. Oftentimes, the excuse that deals with studying always works, because the people at college believe that you are there for an education and not organizations as the focus of college attendance.
I am going to spend perhaps the rest of my life on working with this. If I was to tell the flat out truth that I did not feel like doing whatever, then it makes me look kind of bad or either not willing to stay dedicated to the task of visiting people's houses and what not. If I can work on this, then I do believe that my personal integrity will reach new heights and people can begin to trust me again; I am truly diligent and do whatever it is when the need arises, I just suffer from making time for it in my busy schedule of watching cartoons and TV shows.
To sum this up, I will work on trying to avoid the usage of tall tales and half-truths in an effort to build trust back up and diligence. I will also work on avoiding the use of these stories to conceal information, confuse, misguide, and manipulate others. If I find that this will become too difficult, I will ultimately cut all lines of communication with the person.
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