Chronicles of Life: What's Good?

One of the reasons why I love Winter Break, is that it gives you time to sit at home and have some good ole personal time. It allows one to be able to think and ponder about all the things they do in life. You get to review the course of the year, make plans for the New Year, and think about all the things that need changing. In my mind, I find that there are tons of things that I could have avoided doing (not that they were bad). There are things that I could do better, and there are people that I could have avoided and left behind. Ultimately, the time for thinking is extensive, and plans form for the upcoming year.

I usually focus during this time simply by not doing anything with friends or family. I like to just sit at home and surf the net, read books, write stuff, watch TV, and play videogames. Why do I do this? Simply put, I am quite tired from the semester of running around. If only you knew how much running around, I do, how much time I dedicate to people and causes, and then trying to sort out issues. That is not even counting the amount of time it takes to even do my own studies (not that I study), but to just review homework and do it. The end of the semester is usually the most trying time because it requires trying to spend time with people whom you may never see again as well as closing the books on several subjects, missions, goals, and even organizations. That is not even to mention the fact that once you get feedback and results back, there is this huge suspense of failure or success.

Mainly, the reason why I do tend to avoid calling people on the phone during this time is that it takes up so much time. It is counter productive to my mission if I pick up the phone and call you. My mission states that this is a time of personal solitude. If I talk to you then I am better off just going somewhere and spending time talking to you; ultimately distracting me from my mission of contemplating my life. Usually during the break, I have only been concerned with seeing only one or two people, and they know who they are. Actually, one of them we do always try to go out to eat whenever I am on a break. This always inspires me and brings me great joy. She is just so amazing!

That is beyond the point. Ultimately, as I declared a long time ago, the purpose of me really writing these notes and such is to give people an entire view of me. After being declared as being sinister and evil by someone whom I have never met, I have had to make it my mission of discovering just why someone would be able to deem me as sinister. In a way I have slightly been able to see why this would be so. Still, I would not have called my total personality as being sinister and evil. Everyone I met has had some sort of "nefariousness" in them (well not everyone).

Today, I do feel like revealing a new quality that you probably would have never been able to see in me. Therefore, I must take my third person approach.

Tristan has been deemed as one who never tells people his true feelings. Sure, he will spend time telling you his problems with others and the world but people usually have to question if he is really being sincere about these comments. It has even been claimed, that he says these things but if he has a problem he will never work to resolve it. He looks to others to solve them; if no one does then he will continue to discuss but will not do anything about it. In actuality, he spends his time building a large and complex tangled web of false stories, mistruths, half lies, tall tales, fables, mysteries, novels, fictional plays, and other such things that will have someone running in circles. It has been brought to his attention as to why he does this. Well he simply does not know. He usually does this to see and hear people's responses. In a way, he is testing to see just how good they are. More often than not, he can predict their response. Ultimately, it can easily be reversed and done to him. In the rare instance that his entire myriad of lies fails, he is revealed as weak, insecure, and ultimately emotionally unstable. Fortunately, it takes a great deal of persistence, trying, and confusing stories from others to deconstruct this web, so no one has ever seen him in his most broke down state. However, in the most recent times, the web's outer layers have begun to disintegrate.

In a short set of words, Tristan is ultimately lost currently, looking for someone to cling to for help and support. After being left with going a year with no friends he is ultimately confused and stuck, drowning in sea waving his hands wildly looking for whomever to cling too. Unfortunately, most people are to slick and he slides right off. Surprisingly this past semester and summer, he did find a few people who have been able to offer him moral fiber and support. They will remain nameless here.

In addition, Tristan, does have one minor confession, he does feel sorry for not going to visit two of his friends at their house before the semester ended. He had planned a day to go over there but the surprise news of an emergency assignment that needed to be done and completed by the next morning halted his plans for that evening.

This one has gotten to be quite long. It will be continued at another time.