A Struggle To Survive

The past few days have been quite tough to live through. With me completely trying to stay away from the thing that I love the most, it has become harder and harder to focus and to even enjoy things. I sometimes feel like throwing in the virtual towel and calling it quits, but no I must continue. The point of entirely pulling myself away from this entity is to become stronger and better. I can live without it, I don't need to succumb to its power all the time. It will not rule over my life. Unfortunately all of this is easier to say than to actually do. I have woke up in the middle of the night after enduring horrific nightmares about it. What must I do to even break free from this. It is becoming more and more painful as the days where on. Although I can remember how exactly it was to indulge in this, I still want it. I desire it more than anything in the world. However, I must continue to stay strong, persevere, and stay determined; determined that I can last more days without it. I have already managed to do this with soda, which was quite easy because I was never a big soda drinker. But this, this is more than I can take. Me and this were like one in the same. I never went a day without it.

What is this that I am striving to rip out of my life? It is simply candy. I have become a slave to candy! I have been taking in extremely large amounts of candy ever since middle school daily. I was eating so much that it even changed my entire eating patterns. My eating patterns are now that I simply eat, at most one meal a day and even some days I went without eating a meal. Instead I substituted eating several pieces of candy. It is hard to resist the urge to eat candy, for candy tastes so good. The skittles, gobstoppers, nerds, starbursts, and even lemonheads, it is all so good! I have, right now, gone three days without candy.