Every New Day Offers Many Revelations

My time at home continues to go on as if I were living in a virtual bubble of sorts. Honestly, it does seem that at times the world just revolves right around me and things happen. Shopping sprees, movie releases, new items on the restaurant menus, and even the opening of new rides at theme parks, it is all ignored while people sit at home. Although it does seem that way, it is not always so. For example, I managed to receive a phone call from another friend, Phylicia. It was a welcomed surprise for we decided that we would go to our old high school (I.C. Norcom High School) and visit a few teachers. Because I was not doing anything at home except exploring the world through the worldwide web, I exhilaratingly said, "of course, let's go now!". She agreed and within minutes we were on the way to school. Thanks to the powers of spontaneity, we caught a bite to eat at McDonald's (one of the best fast food restaurants out there). So, through a nice change of events and the powers of spontaneity I managed to get out of the house for yet another day with a friend.

Going to visit the school was a nice refresher from the boring events at the old house. I was able to see a few people from when I went to the high school. I saw that a few of the teachers that taught me were still in their respective rooms and fields Strangely the basic set-up of the school was the same. The only difference was that there were now more people in the hallways. I hadnt changed much for I do think that I still looked like I could be a student there. The classrooms and school as a whole seemed to want to become more technologically advanced with their addition of overhead projectors; while I was there we were lucky to have had overhead projectors. I guess they were trying to make the school seem technologically modern. I was surprised by the number of people who remembered me. I thought they would have forgotten for I had deliberately not chose to come back and visit the school until I was at least out of the school for one year. There was virtually no reason as to why I would want to visit the school so soon. I hadnt even been out of school for one year--visiting would make it seem like I was still in high school. Some people, I am so lead to believe, visited the school multiple times, successively. There didnt really seem to be a reason to visit, except to keep up appearances. But perhaps I should have, since I have a fear of being forgotten someday. Now that I think about it I do feel bad for not visiting.

Now that I think about it, I believe that there is perhaps something striking about how I think. I seem to always refer or resort to making decisions based on feeling bad. Feeling bad for something is perhaps what always gets me in the end. It makes me do things that are perhaps the ultimate good or sometimes and in some cases not good, though still not bad. There are tons of things, that I realize, that make me feel bad. From hearing about others stories of scoring horribly on tests, scoring higher than me, wanting stuff they cant possibly have, to even leaving abruptly in the midsts of conversations, there is just an entire enchilada filled with all of these things that make me feel bad. I always try my best to avoid making decisions in the midst of feeling bad but it is quite difficult after thinking over possible consequences from making the decision. Ultimately the underlying thought behind all of this is simply: how would I feel if I did that to myself or even how would I want others to respond? Or in plainer English, I respond based on how I would want others to respond to me or think of me and such. However, this is maybe perhaps the place where my dilemma starts at for then I begin to feel bad for others and then for myself and then I end up in a jar of pickles of difficult decisions (and usually these are quite simple decisions, such as for example, throwing the trash away or leaving it on the floor, not that exactly but decision on this low level.)

The night concluded with me arriving back home and then staying up for quite some time chatting online and playing with my Nintendo DS, which I have not been able to do for quite some time. Chatting online is always fun, but sometimes it just gets so overwhelming and then with guidance and advice being thrown at from every person I talk to, it makes my head spin in many circles. I have come to realize that there is so much stuff that I dont know that everyone else seems to. Have I been under a rock for many eons? Possibly a rhetorical question, but I do not know the answer to it. Or maybe I just blatantly avoided hearing things I didnt want to hear?

All in all, the day was different for the powers of spontaneity reigned supreme, and of course, I did manage to do a bit of personal reflecting.